A Swell Day at Sea

It has been a swell day – as a matter of fact, a day of rather large swells.  A bit of trivia for you (as if 97% of everything I write wouldn’t qualify). Ever wonder how deep below the surface fish feel the swells? Well, bear with me anyway.  You take the distance between the swells (not the height but the distance between swells) and divide by two and that is how far down the movement is felt. Why yes, I am just back from the “Onboard Scholarship Lecture” how did you know? It was mainly on the fish and mammals we should be seeing in the next few days. There are Spinner Dolphins that can do 4 revolutions up and out of the water and for 12-14 times in succession. Now even I should be able to capture that photo, we’ll see. Then sailing to Hong Kong later, there are suppose to be pink dolphins. Hey, that’s what the woman said. She showed us pictures. They are pink, not kind of pink, but just plain pink. This I have got to see for myself and if I do, I know I will need pictures for you skeptics. She discussed several varieties of fish. With Clown Fish, if the male fish leaves the group and a male is needed, the female can just turn into a male. Talk about adaptable.  There was also one form of crab that sits on its host’s head. It feeds itself by grabbing food on the way to the host’s mouth. Where is one of those crabs when you really need it? Tomorrow, Cairns and the Great Barrier Reef.

What are the odds?

Okay, you are now hearing from a “Platinum Captain’s Circle” member.  I am not sure exactly what that means. As near as I can tell, a “Platinum Member” receives 1000 free internet minutes, which will save having to dash around trying to locate an internet café at each port.  Lest you think we might have reached the pinnacle of the Captain’s Circle’s privileged few – nope, there is an “Elite” status. I think they get the internet minutes plus free laundry service. We talked to one couple who took a 14 day cruise, they didn’t care to where, just to finally accumulate enough days at sea to qualify for their “Elite Card”. That seems like a mighty expensive way to get “free” laundry service to me.  It is difficult to believe we are almost halfway through the voyage. I am still enjoying the food, the days at sea and the people.  As I was coming back from lunch the other day, I noticed that they were having wooden horse races on the pool deck. I think almost everyone reading this has been on a cruise and knows what I am talking about. Anyway, I got on the elevator with a guy named Doug.  Making polite elevator conversation, I just mentioned in passing, that I wasn’t sure I could relate to the “excitement” of a wooden horse race.  He replied, “It isn’t the race, it’s the gamble”. He went on to say that one time he was in Vegas staying at the Venetian.  He was waiting at a bank of elevators to go down to the casino. Two elevators were showing that they were just sitting on the ground floor and two elevators were about that many floors above him. Another guy walked up, looked at the elevators, looked at him, pointed and said, “I’ll bet you $100 that this elevator gets here first.”  Doug said, “I didn’t even hesitate. I figured with 4 elevators the odds were with me and I said,”I’ll take that bet.” He won and the guy gave him 100 bucks as they rode down to the casino. (I guess the other guy couldn’t even wait to get to the casino to start losing his money). Doug said, “See, it’s not the game it’s the fun of the bet and the win”.  And I’ll bet he walked right out of the elevator and lost that hundred at the tables - then again, the guy is taking a world cruise.

Leaving Sydney and Gavin McCloud.

I went to see Gavin McCloud’s performance – you know, the “Love Boat” and “Mary Tyler Moore Show” guy. You see him around the ship and he will pose for pictures with you, if you wish. I didn’t wish, but his show was interesting, in a train wreck sort of way. He did tell some amusing stories about stars he had worked with over the years. But as he talked about fellow cast members or stars -most stories seem to end with him in tears talking about their funerals or the eulogies he gave for them. He seemed to have a difficult time remembering to amuse, not depress. Even his Mary Tyler Moore story somehow ended up with her being almost blind now due to diabetes and having a terminal brain tumor. Well, I thought, at least we aren’t talking about her funeral. But nope, we transitioned right into her son’s funeral. His death was ruled suicide, but Mary was there and said it was an accident. “His toe got caught in the trigger of his shotgun while he was playing around with it”. His presentation was a bit like a cross between some audience participation game show and playing trivia. Audience members were hollering out the names of stars or movies that he couldn’t remember while trying to relate a story … “You know the tall guy that was in “Kelly’s Heroes” with me, what was his name?” – “You know the movie I mean, that one with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman”- then he looks around for someone to lend a hand.  Even I hollered out “Casablanca” to help him out on that last one. There were some entertaining stories and he did seem to be a genuinely nice guy. Hey, I figure it is a step up from “The Beaver”. We will see who the big “star” is on the next segment.  I remember a cruise I took one time with a geriatric Jerry Lewis as the headliner. He had huge blown up pictures on stage with him of his 2 year old daughter. He must have been 78-80 years old at the time. The women were all appalled, the men impressed.  I think cruise ships must be the last gig you get before your agent starts booking you into a community theater in Boise.

Sydney, Day Two

The Sydney Opera House is a multi-venue performing arts center and a World Heritage Site. We got there a little early to just browse around. The performance was well worth the price. I guess when you reach the Sydney Opera House level, all the artists are exceptional. They had a mezzo-soprano that was a show stopper. My favorite was the “Flower Duet” from Lakme that she and the soprano performed. The whole concert was done without microphones, you didn’t need them as every note and every word could be heard perfectly – quite impressive.  That was last night. This morning we were heading out at about 8:30 am. As we passed a very elderly couple on the gangplank sort of tottering back aboard, Jim jokingly said, “Late night?”  The guy replied, “Well, you know they don’t let you out of jail until 8 in the morning”. That’s why I like this group; you seldom get the expected response. We strolled down to the Harbor and Jim had the map. I asked if we could just walk to Fort Denison from here. He responded, “maybe, but it would take a better man than me”. Turns out it is on an island.  So, with our Captain Cook’s  “Hop On, Hop Off” boat pass in hand, and the ultimate tour plan, we hopped on. The weather was ideal. I keep mentioning the perfect weather while I can as I figure India will be hot and miserable and Japan will be cold and miserable so while I can tout the weather, I will. We started with a visit to Darling Harbor. It is much like Circular Quay but newer, nicer and within walking distance to China Town and Paddy’s Market. We walked around the harbor area, through China Town then stopped at the market for wine etc.  We caught a little train back to hop on the catamaran to our next “HOHO” stop. The boat actually stopped at Fort Denison, turned out no miracles were required to get there ... but since it was that easy, we decided not to hop off. It was a harbor fortification, used later as a prison, now a tourist stop. We also stopped at Goat and Shark Islands – but didn’t hop off. Sydney Harbor has 66 bays. We decided to hop off next at Watson’s Bay for lunch at Doyle’s.  Located on a small beach, you had the nice sea breeze and an outstanding view of Sydney in the distance.  It has been in operation, with the same family, for over 130 years. I think they learned something over the years as it was one of the best seafood lunches we have had so far. I walked across the park to a scenic observation point for the Tasman Sea. Quite spectacular but required an uphill walk followed by a cardiovascular workout type climb for those photos above. We hopped back on the Captain Cook, flashing our “HOHO” pass, and headed back to the cruise ship. Tomorrow we head toward Cairns and the Great Barrier Reef. I booked a tour to snorkel the reef 6 months ago before a month and a half of gluttonous meals, great breads and wonderful desserts. The greatest barrier to seeing the reef may be my inability to squeeze into my swim suit.

Sydney Harbor

 G’day, from Sydney, Australia. We will be “down under” for the next couple of days. I wonder, do people in Australia call the rest of the world the “up over”? A resident of Sydney is known as a Sydneysider.  Sydney probably has one of the most recognizable harbors in the world with the Opera house and Sydney Harbor Bridge.  Jim and the choir were topside at 6:45 A.M. this morning singing “Waltzing Matilda” as we sailed into the harbor and past the opera house. Sydney is the oldest city is Australia, and the site of the first British penal colony - named after Lord Sydney.  A penal colony named after you, my, my – I suppose the only thing better would be to have your name associated with the local landfill. Anyway, if we think the King Ranch is big, Australia has a cattle ranch that is about the size of Belgium. Can you imagine that round up! I was here when Tom lived here, but about all I saw was the Opera house and the gardens so I am anxious to see the rest of the sights.  I think most people know the history and geography of Australia - but you may not know that they have 1500 species of Australian spiders or that the average person here swallows three spiders a year. I believe I will be checking my sandwich before taking that first bite at lunch. I have to say, I do like their Australian dollars which are made of Polymer. I don’t know why we don’t do that – it’s almost impossible to tear and is colorful. We set out to tour on our own today. As it is Sunday, Jim attended Mass on shore then we met and headed out for the Opera House. There was a performance scheduled for this evening and we really wanted to attend a concert at the Sydney Opera House. We were told that they were sold out but when we got to the box office, we got tickets! We spent a couple of hours in the botanical gardens followed by a $112 hamburger lunch on Circular Quay – ridiculous, but the view of the harbor was almost worth it. We spent the rest of the day reconnoitering to formulate the ultimate sightseeing plan for tomorrow. We are back on the ship long enough to get cleaned up for “Opera’s Greatest Hits”. A much needed event after hiking the gardens.  I will report on the performance tomorrow.  I just hope I can sleep tonight without any motion on the ship.  It will be the first night in six week that I won’t be “rocked in the cradle of the deep” as Jim likes to say. Oh well, there is always Tylenol PM.

Is that you Mr. Dundee?

While sailing to Sydney, Australia I thought about this story dating back to my early social service days. This was my Crocodile Dundee moment, which occurred within the first month of opening the social service agency, before I was a real veteran.  I was the only counselor that day. I had two little 70 year old church ladies, with a combined weight of about 150 pounds, packing groceries for me, back in the pantry area.  I had barely unlocked the doors when a traditional looking biker type, with requite black leather, chains and tattoos - probably 6’ 3 and topping 350 pounds strode in very purposefully. As he was the first and only client, I invited him into the counselor booth. Without saying a word, he sat down across the desk from me.  He pulled out this rather large knife and started cleaning his fingernails while he requested some food and money for gas.  Now a basic in this type of counseling is you always take the chair closest to the door (in case you need to make a break for it.) Another rule is never show fear or raise your voice. So in my sweetest, calmest voice, I told him I would appreciate it if he would put the knife away or take it back to his “hog” – no, really I said car. Anyway, he just sort of looked at me a moment then said, “You call this a knife?” He then reached into his boot and took out something that looked like he could have harvested cane fields with it or beheaded uncooperative social workers, depending on his mood.  He then said,” That is a nail cleaner, this is a knife”.  I smiled and laughed a little, really hoping it was a Crocodile Dundee reference.  I told him I couldn’t give him money, but if he would take his knives outside and put them away, I would bring his food out to him. I felt a need to get him out of the office before my little church ladies saw this knife wielding, tattooed and pierced biker and I needed to call 911 to revive them. That, or for sure, they might never come volunteer a second time.  I tried to sped pack the food with the little ladies helping - asking me if my client might like a brownie mix or if he preferred Cheerios to Corn Flakes etc.  I rushed the food order curb side in record time.  I then watched as he “roared” off on his bike (no, not a Harley, but a one speed). It created quite a sight as this 300 pound brute, leather clad, with chains rattling pedaled off down the road with a bag of groceries dangling from each handlebar. I still wonder why requested gas money – maybe his Harley was at home bone dry in his driveway.

Burnie, Tasmania

In case your grasp of geography is similar to mine – Tasmania is an island about the size of Ireland, off the south eastern coast of Australia. The capital of Tasmania is Hober;  Burnie is just a popular cargo port. Guess who one of the early explorers was? If I am ever in a trivia game involving explorers of this part of the world, my pat answer is going to be Captain Cook. Once he located Tasmania they started shipping convicts and their keepers here in 1803. Between the early settlers and later paper and timber companies they said the local motto was “if it moves, shoot it - if it doesn’t, cut it down.”  As you might guess some species of animals are now extinct, like the Tasmanian Tiger and the timber and paper mills are out of business. Not surprising given the philosophy. The havoc was fairly localized however as Tasmania  has two World Heritage Areas , one is Cradle Mountain and the other is a large, pristine Wilderness Area a few hours’ drive from Burnie. We took a tour to several of the surrounding towns. We really wanted to see the Tasmanian Devil while they were still among the living. They earned their name because they have the jaw strength of a crocodile and when in a feeding frenzy they snarl, snap, bite, tear flesh and crunch bone - said to be worse than a hyena.  Sadly, they expect Tasmanian Devils to be extinct in as little as 10 years due a rare form of cancer that is killing them in great numbers. As they can’t find the cause, they have relocated groups of them to different countries to try to preserve them. We were so disappointed to learn that the Wildlife Center was too far out of town for us to be able to get there and back before the ship sailed. We at least we got to see some truly beautiful countryside on our outing. It reminded me a little of Ireland, with the luxurious, green rolling hills. Our first stop was Penguin. It was named because of the little Fairy Penguins that reside there. It was recently decided that the name was “politically incorrect” so now the Fairy Penguins are known as Little Blues. Then on to Preston Falls, more like Preston trickle, but a pretty walk down a shady lane to get to it. The countryside is so fertile it grows a huge variety of fruit, vegetables and flowers. They even export tulips to Amsterdam.  We ate a “light” lunch in Davenport, steak pie. Not bad.  It was back to the ship where bag pipers piped passengers aboard to head to Sydney. We had our standard wine and nibbles on the balcony for sail away, then headed to dinner. As I was walking in I saw a kid about three years old. Well, I have been on this ship 5 or 6 week without seeing a single child. I found Jim in the buffet line and said excitedly, “guess what I just saw”. He guessed a Tasmania Devil, a humpback whale, flying fish etc. I said, “ no, it was a child”! It was like I had spotted some exotic species, I was so thrilled. I think it is safe to say I am now in full blown Nana withdrawal mode!

That will be dinner for a thousand tonight, Honey.

Today I attended a cooking demonstration by the Executive Chef followed by a tour of the ship’s galley. It is amazing to me that with 600 passengers and 400 crew that they can turn out such tasty meals for a thousand people - three times a day, with snacks and room service in between. Speed is of the essence. The Chef decorated a cake in 58 seconds – and it looked good! There are 62 people working in the galley with another 20 people just washing dishes at all times since they go through about 6,500 dishes and 3,200 glasses a day. And this is for a small ship! They prepare between 700 and 800 pounds of meat and fish a day, 200 liters of soup (that must be some stock pot) and use 175 pounds of butter daily. Between the butter, ice cream and my bacon intake I figure my cholesterol level will be close to the 4 digit range by the time I get home. They make 2000 pastries a day, from scratch, and 1000 pounds of fresh fruit is eaten daily. The kitchen was incredibly clean and efficient and had a full size, people escalator to help get the food to the dining room quickly.  An escalator on this little ship, who knew? The Chef said for an “average cruise” they load 50 tons of food on board.  I can’t imagine what they do for this cruise. If you think about it, they will serve over 75,000 pounds of meat and 100,000 pounds of fruit alone on this trip! We must have wiped out entire herds as well as a pineapple plantation or two. Can anyone say gluttony - no wonder my slacks are starting to feel a little snug.

Tasman Sea, heading to Tasmania - A Dinner Conversation

I had just taken the first bite of my Caesar salad, when our table mate began, “No good deed goes unpunished.  I tried to reunite my aunt and my dad after a 40 years estrangement. Sure enough after I got them together my aunt screwed me out of a quarter million dollars. She took care of my dad for a couple of months. Then right before he died, literally on his deathbed, when he didn’t know what he was signing, she got him to change his will and leave everything to her”.  Another table mate then asked, “How was your good deed punished?” He replied, “Well hell, by getting them back together I lost a quarter of a million dollars, that’s how.”  To which our third table mate retorted, “A quarter million, that’s not so bad, my partners screwed me out of two million dollars and not just an inheritance. This was my own hard earned money!”  I wanted to join the conversation – and I did get ripped off at Walgreens, not too long ago for a buck ninety three, but I suspected no one at the table would care.

The Fiords of New Zealand

We sailed the fiords in Chile, on our Antarctica excursion. This scenery was almost as breath taking, but without the glaciers. As least we didn’t see any, but then again clouds covered most of the mountain peaks.  These fiords are deep, narrow inlets off the sea, created by glaciers. Stunning lava stone and forested mountains soar up both sides of the waterway. In places 5000 foot mountains drop to the water where the water then plunges to  depths of almost 1000 feet. Sailing through the fiords you enjoy such spectacular scenery that it is hard to describe its beauty competently.   The landscape is so dramatic any adjectives I use to depict it seem too mundane. You pass one cascading waterfall after another. These torrents of water flow across rocky outcropping, through lush forested mountains and fall, picture perfect down the side of the cliffs.  There was mist, fog and low hanging clouds most of the day.  If you had a really good camera it would make for some great “artsy” photos, but unfortunately with my point and shoot, most of my pictures just have a lackluster grey look about them.  I don’t think any description I provide would do the fiords justice.  As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words, so I’ll post some, but unfortunately, these pictures are only worth about 57 words, if that.

Cruising the New Zealand Coast

We continue to cruise the New Zealand coast on our way to the fiords tomorrow. New Zealanders brag that they are the first country to see the sunrise.  They are famous for the Kiwi bird. It is weird looking little thing that has ears, doesn’t fly and lays the biggest egg, in proportion to its body, of any bird. New Zealand is known for their sheep. There are nine sheep to every human here. They have the world’s largest flightless parrot, the biggest earthworms and the smallest bats. As for the people, you can drive at 15, drink at 18 or at any age, if your parents are present.  Bungee jumping originated in New Zealand. I had no interest in participating in that “sport” and Jim had already done it off the side of a cliff in Tahoe to celebrate his 65^th birthday.  Hey, I had suggested a cake with dinner and a bottle of wine. But, to each his own.  I was game as long as I just had to wait on the ground, take pictures and have my finger poised over the speed dial button for 911.

At sea day – with fellow passengers

This ship has an interesting assortment of people and by this age, everyone has a story. We have the retired Broadway actress. She glides, free style but dramatically, around the dance floor wearing gossamer outfits that float behind her as swoops and twirls. She and her husband always come to breakfast in their robes. I considered that a little strange at first then I thought maybe these free sprits usually ate breakfast in the nude and robes were perhaps a concession for which we should just give thanks. We had lunch with a gentleman who was telling WWII stories, not as a topic of conversation, but relating first hand experiences and memories. Like the 93 year old lady that looks better than I and moves better than Jim, we continue to marvel at how active and engaged these folk are in their 80’s and 90’s. We are beginning to wonder if constant cruising casts some spell on you and you only age when you step foot back on shore! Not all our cruise mates however are that age, most are a “youthful” 60 or 70,  a few are in their 40’s and 50’s with a couple of teenagers traveling with their grandparents. There is one gal about 30 in a wheelchair that is amazing. She is traveling alone, goes everywhere and does everything, with very little help and without complaint. Conversation with almost anyone on board is entertaining, at least for a little while. I will admit, the tape seems to replay with some of them if you linger too long.

Auckland. New Zealand

Auckland. New Zealand

Auckland has more boats per capita than any other city in the world – and it shows. There are marina and yacht basins everywhere you look. Known as the City of Sails this huge sprawling city is complete with sky scrapers and big city traffic. It was much larger than I was expecting, with a population of over a million. Like the Europeans who got Manhattan from the Indians for a song, the British paid the local Maori $110 for the 3,000 acres that is now Auckland. We arrived in port at about 8 am to perfect weather. There is much to do and see here. Piha beach is known for its black sand, massive Lion Rock and surfing. Auckland Sky Tower is the tallest tower in the Southern Hemisphere.  If Hannah were here we would do the sheep ranch, glow worm cave or perhaps the aquarium with a viewing tunnel you can walk through with fish and sharks swimming all around you. Our agenda however was to take a city and harbor tour then visit the National Maritime Museum. Bah humbug on the city tour.  Our “tour guide” spent about 2 hours driving us through downtown traffic like he was late to work. At first I felt a little sympathy for him as I thought perhaps he was a mute since universities, museums, churches, and government buildings all flew past the bus window unidentified and far too quickly for even the quickest of photographers.  I tell ewe, the sheep ranch tour was starting to look better and better. Then finally he spoke. He told us Japan had produced the “clip on” lanes for the Auckland Bridge. They were built in Japan and then brought here and just attached to widen the Bridge. I believe that was the first, last and only semi-interesting bit of information he shared with us all day. He cut through the botanical gardens to get to the War Memorial Museum. He said he had to drive very carefully though this garden area because these trees alongside the road were …   were what? Delicate? Irreplaceable?  I couldn’t hear the last of his statement for the scratching of tree limbs on the top and side of the bus. He found the museum but said he didn’t see a parking place and drove on without even identifying it. We turned down dead end streets having to back the bus all the way back out – twice.  Across from my seat was a large sign saying “for a fast exit, use hammer to break glass”. I was tempted. The Harbor tour made up for it. It was a lovely schooner under full sails - a fun and relaxing way to see the harbor, especially on such a gorgeous day. Then off to the National Maritime Museum with an informative and knowledgeable guide. We dined at an outdoor café near the harbor.  Jim’s son requested a rugby shirt from Auckland. As fanatical as New Zealanders are about rugby we expected them to be everywhere. After three stops and about a two mile walk, that I swear was all up hill, he found one for about $150! He bought it. I told you - I shop, he buys. Being a shopper, I could hardly stand not checking at least one more shop for a little better deal but my dead dog tired body won out over my good sense. We staggered back to the ship where Jim promptly went to dinner; not me, I was too tired to chew. At 11 pm we set sail for the New Zealand fiords.

Bay of Islands, New Zealand

The first leg of the today’s journey was by tender into port. On the ride in we sat next to a bull rider, a retired – a looong time retired bull rider.   I did like one of his stories that had nothing to do with the rodeo. He said in his later years he made a big business deal on a handshake. The other fellow asked if he was okay with no paperwork, did he trust him with just a hand shake. He said, “I told the guy sure, no problem, I will be just as honest as you are.”  Good line – may not be saying much but he is not likely to object.  Anyway, from the dock we took the shuttle into Paihia. We checked at the information bureau to see how much a cab was to Kawakawa, where we would then catch the train to Russell.  When we inquired as to what we might see while in Kawakawa - they said, “a beautiful bathroom”. “A bathroom?” I queried, thinking I had heard incorrectly. But no, she was even quite enthusiastic about it. I guess some famous architect designed a large public restroom there, and that was the main attraction. In fact, that was the only attraction she mentioned. So a $40 cabs ride to view a potty with a $30 train ride to get back? Yep. Sometimes you just have to make these tough decisions – we looked at each other and opted to bypass this beautiful brick ah potty place and just took the ferry directly to Russell. Russell is a picturesque little town that climbs up the side of a hill on Orongo Bay. It reminded us a little of the Cape Cod area. Apparently, back in the whaling days this lovely little community was known as the “Hell Hole of the Pacific”.  Today it is a quiet tourist village that about 1000 people call home. This is also the area that Zane Grey made famous for deep sea game fishing. They are especially known for their huge sword fish.  Having arrived on main street Russell, we started our day’s outing with a visit to the museum in Russell, called the Russell Museum (catchy name– must have been done by committee). There was a display of Maori artifacts and an interesting art exhibit. It was sort of Norman Rockwell goes philosophical. Each painting depicted the struggle of the Maori with the British, but with humor. We dined outdoors at a pleasant little bistro on the bay then strolled around town. We saw the oldest petrol station in New Zealand. I tried to get a picture of the old timey pumps but they had a non-stop line of cars getting petrol. Next we went to Duke of Marlborough Hotel and Bar. Their bar acquired the first liquor license issued in New Zealand. Then to Christ Church, you guessed it, the oldest church in New Zealand. It is the one pictured above. It had an interesting old cemetery adjoining it that was fun to wander through. There are supposed to be whales, dolphins, seals and penguins around.  All we saw were dolphins, but they did put on quite a show alongside the ship as we were departing.  The landscape here differs from what we have been seeing. There were some wonderful stately, gnarled old kauri and fig trees that are hundreds of years old. I love trees and these were pretty spectacular, if you are into that kind of thing. They also had huge ancient Norfolk pines. Capt. Cook planted the pines when he was here. He did that on most of the South Sea Islands he visited. Most of these places just had palm trees or trees not suitable for a mast. He planted the pines so when they returned, many years later - if they should need a straight tree to replace a broken mast, they would have something to use. Now that’s planning ahead.  Tomorrow, Auckland.

Bay of Islands, New Zealand

We had never heard of Bay of Islands so we had no idea what to expect. (Hannah sorry, I hope you hadn’t already drawn a line to Tonga your map). We couldn’t find much information on this stop, except for the tours that were available.  The first tour offered stopped at a missionary’s house, with a second stop for a cup of tea, followed by a self guided tour for the afternoon. I never could figure out why you would pay for a self guided tour – can’t you just take a cab or bus to the destination and save 150 bucks? I don’t know the protocol for sure, but for me at least, on a self guided tour, unless I do an exceptionally good job, I am not even going to tip.  More money saved.  Option two for this stop was a glow worm cave and Puketi Kauri Forest. Now we might have opted for that but apparently the glow worms are camera shy, as no pictures were allowed. That left option three, “Waltang Estuary by Sea Kayak”. You kayak up to, and if you wish, through Haruru Falls. As the hiking, biking backpacking set seemed to be the ones that truly love New Zealand, I figured this “back to nature” tour should be our choice. We could enjoy, up close and personal, wildlife and scenery as viewed from our Kayaks. I like kayaking and often do it on summer vacation trips. Jim however has never put his bottom in a kayak. Because of his hip, and several other cement-like joints, I really couldn’t see him being able to struggle in and out of the thing. We decided to attend the port lecture and then settle on what we wanted to do after that.  We learned that, who else but Captain Cook named the Bay of Islands. That man did get around the South Pacific!  We discovered that New Zealand has lots of birds. It is known for the world’s largest, flightless parrot as well as for their Kiwis .  It has a rich history, much of which depicted the native tribe, the Maori, as not being treated particularly well.  However, they like to tell the story of when some early European explorers (not Capt. Cook) stopped at Bay of Islands for supplies. After the Maori loaded the goods, the explorers reneged on paying them, and threw them overboard – even shooting some as they swam for shore. Shortly after departing the explorer’s ship sank and the crew had to swim back to shore. As they were swimming toward land I suspect, in hindsight, they were regretting their earlier actions. The Maori were awaiting them - none lived to explore again. When she finished her lecture, Jim hobbled up there to ask if she thought we could handle the Kayaking tour or if we should just rent a car. She didn’t seem to encourage either. She did recommend this shuttle/ ferry/ train/ bus expedition (I don’t think a plane was involved) that sounded like a very complicated, albeit interesting, way to see the north island of New Zealand.  If we make all the proper connections, and arrive back to Paiha before the ship departs I will let you know my thoughts on Kiwi country tomorrow.

Tomorrow - Bay of Islands, New Zealand

Sorry folks, but one more day at sea. Thus noted, I will just be making a shipboard observation today. I am not saying this is an older group, (pot calling the kettle etc.) but when viewing the dining room I do see a lot of white heads bent over their shrimp cocktails. This reminded me of one of my trips to Mexico. I used to drive my parents across the border to buy prescription drugs, which were much cheaper there. As I reread that statement I wonder why I felt the need to add “prescription” to drugs, given everyone reading this knows me.  I doubt any of you thought I was taking my 80 year old parents on an illegal drug run into the underbelly of Mexico. Anyway, I digress. On one of our drug runs to Mexico I heard the owner of the Mexican drug store say, “the Q tips have arrived”. Not a real unusual statement in a drug store I suppose, but upon saying it everyone scurried back to their post behind the cash registers. Puzzled I saw a busload of “Winter Texans” arriving (these are the old folks from “up north” who migrate south for the winter and are a source of income to the valley – thus we don’t just call them old farts). Anyway, they were all disembarking the complimentary trailer park bus, canes and walkers battling to be first in line at the prescription counter. As I waited for mom and dad to finish shopping, trying madly to beat the rush, I visited with the owner who had made the “Q tips statement”. When asked about it, he sheepishly replied, “That’s what we call these American tourists”. When I guess I still looked puzzled, he added, “You know white hair on top, white shoes on the bottom.”   Sure enough, gathered around the prescription counter was this group of white headed, white sneakered geriatric shoppers. It did sort of look like a cluster of Q tips!

Tonga, we will miss you – by about 125 miles.

Over a month at sea – so far so good.  Upon departing Davuni we were supposed to sail directly to Tonga, another Fijian Island. However, according to the Captain, that course would have put us directly in the path of Typhoon Jasmine. That is something you don’t hear every day. The Houston area weather forecasts seldom mention Typhoon warnings.  It actually sounded kind of exciting, but the Captain seemed to feel the safety of the passengers and ship outweighed the possibility of me getting a good story about being jostled by Jasmine. So - we are now sailing nonstop to New Zealand and spending the extra day there, on the Bay of Islands. There has been some grumbling aboard about the change of itinerary. New Zealand was Courtney and Jim’s favorite destination on their honeymoon so I am anxious to see what they have to offer, besides sheep and Kiwis. As we head that way, the ocean has been a bit rough.  The Captain just reported 35 mile an hour winds with “ large swells” – that part was okay - but he could have left off the part about the sea depth here being over 5000 ft. Somehow in rough seas it is a comforting to think, even if it is a blatantly erroneous thought - that you might be able to touch bottom in a pinch. We really didn’t need the Captain’s “swell” report. You can always tell sea conditions just by watching the passengers ricocheting off walls as they lurch down the hallways. You have heard about walking like a drunken sailor, but under these sea conditions I have always wondered if a drunken sailor might just walk straight.  I suspected we would hit a little rougher seas skirting around the typhoon. That just means less people at the lunch buffet. There are a number of passengers for whom very much of a sea results in immediate barfing. It is as strange as when someone tosses their cookies or scrambled eggs, or whatever – they immediately cordon off a huge area around it! They come to clean it up completely hooded, gloved and with full hazmat looking gear. It looks as if they are getting ready to handle major toxic waste –which, admittedly it is pretty gross. You have never seen such a comprehensive sterilization process. The first time I saw it I thought Ebola or some deadly, highly contagious tropical disease had worked its way aboard ship in a banana crate. It seemed to me a bit extreme if someone had been just reacting negatively to high seas and their Lasagna dinner. The only thing I can think of is that they are afraid that, if it is indeed a virus, instead of just sea sickness that a virus could run through the whole ship.  Given the age of the passengers, I suppose that could mean we might end up having to “deep six” more than just February 11^th.  

Dravuni, Fiji – a perfect South Pacific Paradise

This stop was an adventure.  Dravuni Island is a little, and I do mean little, island – the whole Island is less than ½ square mile. It only has 200 inhabitants, if everyone is home.  Dravuni is one of the 312 Fijian Islands. It is a challenge to get to as it doesn’t have an airport or even a pier. We were supposed to be tendered to their “new pontoon dock” - you know, those floating docks like people have at their lake houses. A storm hit last night and seriously damaged the dock. Before we could even start going ashore the Captain had to send the ship’s engineer and some carpenters to repair the damage. Well, they say half the fun is getting there.  On the ride over to the island, the seas were such that the waves broke over the top of the tender!  Really. Then something happened to the front of the tender and the captain was hollering at the deck hand, in some language other than my mother tongue. I had no idea what he was yelling but the deck hand quickly ran upfront and was scrambling around doing something, hopefully constructive, up there. The next thing I notice was about 2 inches of water sloshing over my feet. Now in an open motor boat that wouldn’t concern me much, but in an enclosed tender, I was checking out the location of the life vests and the quickest route to the nearest exit.  Finally, we make it in to the “dock” but it was still so rough that when they tied off the tender, it ripped the tie down cleats right off the dock! Meanwhile, we are enclosed in this bouncing, stuffy box. It feels like we are on a cross between a roller coaster and a bumper car ride. We are now ricocheting off the side of the dock with each and every crashing wave. Finally they got something rigged to “secure” the boat. The moment had come to stagger your way to the opening where you must anticipate when the the boat opening and the floating dock will rise up at the same time, then sort of jump off.  Finally, safely off the boat, I grabbed for a rail and looked up to see this writhing thing they called a dock, which was in about 6 or 7 sections. It looked like some sort of carnival ride leading to shore. With every wave, each section was rising and falling at a different level than the one next to it. They finally got some plywood to lay across the connections so you could step from one section to the next.  At last, my sandals touched the wet, sandy beach – we made it.   This was one island I really had been waiting to visit.   Fiji and Tahiti are what usually comes to mind when you think of South Pacific Islands – that or someone crooning Bali Hai. I am here to tell you that if you live through the ride over, it is an absolutely lovely island. As I mentioned, no airport here, heck there isn’t even any roads – not that they are needed, as there are no cars. Which makes sense, where would you go? There were just foot paths to houses, to a one room school and to the other side of the island.  There was a closet size library – where we were encouraged to donate any books we had finished reading. (I bet they hate Kindles). The only transportation I saw on the whole island was 2 motor boats and some dugout canoes. There was no town on the island; even saying this was a village is a bit of a stretch.  We saw a few small generators. I am not sure what they were used for as I saw no refrigerators or appliance that ran on electricity in the houses. I think maybe it was hooked up to something like a community refrig.  It appeared that most plumbing was of the outhouse variety. They had lots of cisterns and large vats for catching rainwater. Davuni isn’t set up for tourists, offering only one public outhouse for 600 “guests”.  I think this may be the first time Princess has stopped at this island. A few Australian cruises come, mainly because of their reef, the Great Astrolabe Reef.  It is the 4^th largest reef in the world. It is often studied and is known for its hard and soft coral. It almost completely surrounds the island. Drevuni is one of the Pacific’s most unspoiled destinations. The water is so transparent you can see your chipped toenail polish through in the surf. Picture white sandy beaches with lots of palm and bread fruit trees. This is strictly natural living without a single store on the island. They had vegetable gardens and I assume they eat a lot of fish.  If the cruise ships start stopping here regularly I am sure some industrious native will set up a stand to rent snorkels, fins and cokes to visiting tourists. Currently, if you even want a towel you must bring it with you. Interesting to me at least, is the fact that they say the island makes an average of $56,000 per cruise ship visit. On what? If I bought everything I saw I would be out about $3.25.  They seem so isolated; there is a surplus of nothing thus not even any handicrafts – except maybe a woven basket or two.  The main thing for sale was a few “services”.  Some islanders offered massages or hair braids on the beach .I suppose both ideas were suggested to them, as good money makers, by previous visiting cruisers as they don’t even wear braids themselves. I can’t imagine how the average visitor could possibly spend over $100. Maybe that number includes an anchorage fees for stopping in their harbor or for the use of their fantastic dock.  Now that I think of it, they probably should charge for that dock ride. I have paid more for less thrilling rides. There are no tours of any kind offered, no hotels, and of course no taxis since there are no roads. I am not saying this island is small, but what was offered was a scenic 5 minute walk to the other side of the island. There was also a 15 minute trek if you wanted to stroll the long way from sea to shining sea. What they didn’t mention to the gringos was that it was a muddy, billy goat of a climb, almost straight up and straight down to get there. I will say, just when I was about 10 yards short of a coronary, I arrived at the peak. The view from the top was spectacular – you felt like breaking into some song from “South Pacific”.  This island will change if there is an influx of tourists but right now the inhabitants mainly just looked sort of puzzled at the invasion of crazy tourists slathering on sunscreen, sunbathing, and hiking through their yards.  Without a cruise ship in port I am sure life on Davuni is not a heck of a lot different than it was 100 years ago. The locals were cooking on wood fires, sleeping in hammocks and enjoying an afternoon swim in ocean. Back in the day, Fijian was not always so friendly however. Fiji was once known as “Cannibal Island”. After battles, the victors cooked and ate the defeated. This of course opens the door to a couple of cannibal jokes.   Have you noticed that most cannibal jokes are not in good taste? Sorry, I couldn’t resist.  Anyway, joke one:
             1^st Cannibal "I don't like your wife much."
            2^nd Cannibal “Well, never mind, just eat the vegetables."

OR

1st Cannibal: Am I late for supper?
2nd Cannibal: Yes, everybody's eaten.

All kidding aside, this little island was breath taking. If you have seen a travel brochure for a south pacific Island they might very well have used this little island for the picture. With white sandy beaches, aquamarine surf and swaying palm trees this truly is an island paradise.  It is by far the most natural island we have visited. It feels so native you almost expect to see Captain Cook sailing into port at any moment. (Good luck with that dock, Captain)  I won’t do a history recap on this stop. You know it involved Captain Cook and that was just too easy a shot on the heels of the cannibal jokes. However, if you want to just relax on a beautiful, unspoiled south pacific island, I’d say grab your swim suit, snorkel and maybe a couple of granola bars and head to Dravuni.

Crossing the International Date Line – what day is this?

As we slept, we crossed the International Date Line.  We completely deep sixed Saturday February 11, 2012.  It was the day that never was!  We went to bed Friday the 10^th, and awoke  and it was Sunday the 12^{th .}    I know on some of Tom and Michael’s trips they may have experienced such an event, but for us, there was absolutely no hangover involved.  A very strange sensation.  Before I left on this trip, I made a book with an accompanying map so that Hannah could “come with me around the world”. In the book I tried to put some facts and information about each stop or crossing that might interest a 7 year old. Well, when I got to the International Date Line I was stumped! We all sort of know what it is - an imaginary line running generally north-south passing through the middle of the Pacific Ocean. It designates the place where each calendar day begins. It is roughly along 180° longitude, opposite the Prime Meridian. It is not exactly a straight line but it is drawn with jig jags to pass around some territories and island groups. So here’s the deal, if you are crossing the International Date Line (IDL) going east you lose 24 hours so you repeat that date west of the line. If you are traveling west a day is added, so the date on that side of the IDL is plus one calendar day. The reason of establishing the IDL was to have a fixed, albeit arbitrary line on the globe where the calendar date advances. In these Islands you can perhaps imagine the considerable bewilderment this causes travelers leaving one island today and trying to book their hotel room on the next island for yesterday! They say hotel and rental car reservations can be a nightmare of confusion down here.  There is a particular spot on Taveuni Island in Fiji where you can stand with one foot in the current day and one foot in yesterday. The most problematic situation usually occurs with short journeys from west to east. For example, traveling  from Tonga to Samoa by air takes about two hours but because you cross the International Date Line, you arrive the day before you left. I can see how this could get incredibly perplexing. Several people aboard “lost” their birthdays this trip, lucky ducks.  I wonder - if you took just the right flight every year on your birthday, would you never age? I guess not. Anyway – that’s all I know about that. Tomorrow Fiji !

Our day in Pago Pago – and Local Birth Control

As our ship pulled into port, you could see a flurry of activity as local merchants set up tents full of colorful sarongs and local crafts, cabs and buses lined up, and even the post office opened its doors early. I recalled when Courtney, Hannah and I stayed on St. Kitts while Courtney taught a class at St. Kitts’ vet school.  We would watch the last cruise ship pull out of port at the end of the day, and we could feel the whole little Island relax, give a sigh of relief and return to normal. The cruise ships do disrupt island life, but on the other hand they are also a huge source of income for them. We were told 1/3 of the residents here in Pago Pago work in the tourist industry, 1/3 for the government and 1/3 at the Starkist Tuna Cannery. We visited a couple of neighborhood grocery stores (note the level of our entertainment) and were surprised to notice that, sorry Charlie, but they don’t sell your Starkist brand tuna on this island. Hum, they have a huge Starkist cannery here but don’t sell or eat that brand? There must be a story there somewhere or maybe they just know something we should know. The water temp was 90 degrees – cool compared to the heat and humidity we experienced walking around town.  We had a difficult time staying focused on the sites. The air conditioning back at the ship kept beckoning to us. I will say the Island was much prettier than I anticipated  -  a lush, green mountainous landscape with crystal clear water lapping against rocky cliffs. Aside from scenery, we did see one unique little church and a 90 foot, 40 man canoe, that was rather impressive.  As for other excitement and sightseeing opportunities, that gal didn’t lie. We even asked locals what they did for fun here. We were told the churches sometimes held bingo games. The main pastime was American television which is broadcast to even the remotest village.  I am not sure that is such a wonderful thing. Then again, remember I am coming off of the “Leave it to Beaver” marathon that they are still running aboard ship so I may be a little jaded about TV right now. Samoans have very strong family units. In the smaller villages all the extended families live together in what are called fales. There are no public cemeteries, family members are buried beside each family’s fale. Children are held in high esteem and they have a grand celebration for them in October where they are given special gifts.  The attire for men is a knee length wrap around skirt called lava lavas. The women wear the traditional puletasi, which is a tunic and skirt. Many of the older people still wear these while the younger folks have mostly gone to tee shirts and knee length shorts, like most of the rest of the world. Unlike Hawaii, many of the beaches here are privately owned by the local Samoans. One of the popular beaches in Pago Pago,  that is family owned  is “Two Dollar Beach”. The family charges one dollar to use it. Just kidding, they charge two dollars, but it would have made a better story. I did however like their approach to Sex Education and birth control here in American Samoa. They post large signs reading, “Sex often leads to shattered dreams, venereal diseases and babies waking you up at 2 in the morning”. I laughed, but I as I thought about it, it actually might be more effective and to the point than our sex education programs covering a detailed discussion of the fallopian tubes.