Crossing the Equator – Pollywogs to Shellbacks

As most of you know – there is an old mariner tradition for those crossing the equator by sea, for the first time.  We have all heard various initiation stories about those aboard Navy ships where the officers, down to the lowliest seamen, all had to crawl through garbage to kiss King Neptune’s deputy’s belly etc. “King Neptune” was often the Captain; the grossest, pot bellied sailor was usually his deputy.   Jim really wanted us to be initiated so we could get our certificates.  I, of course, would be much happier standing on the sidelines laughing at those being initiated. Honestly, I would rather not be part of the show, but Jim truly wanted me to join him and he doesn’t ask for much.  After some hesitation on my part I decided, what the heck – sign us up! Frankly, I thought how bad can it be? On this ship they are so paranoid about hygiene, issuing public health reminders daily, I couldn’t see them having us line up to kiss anyone’s belly. Given the typical cruise ship clientele I imagined at worst, there would be a little verbal harassment, bow before the “King”, and then he might squirt us with a little water. After this “ceremony” they would give us our certificates and declare we were now transformed from “Pollywogs” to “Shellbacks.  It would be difficult to know the proper attire to wear for such an event. After all, we would be going to the “King’s Court” in front of half the ship’s passengers. On the other hand, if you did get thrown in the pool, I didn’t want to be wearing white or my good watch. Then, after we signed up, a couple of scary developments occurred.  First, we heard that people were receiving notes saying, “Dear Pollywog …. For your initiation ceremony, please don’t wear anything you don’t want to get wet and dirty”. Yikes!  That sounded like it could be a little messier than bowing to the King! To make matters worse, at lunch we sat with a couple that had crossed the equator before. They said the initiation process involved Jello and various other food products, with lots of mess and merriment. It ended with the Pollywogs being thrown in the pool. I immediately started envisioning spaghetti and whipped cream piled on my head, salad makings  between my toes with perhaps some strawberry  Jell-O dripping off my elbows - all this as I was being cheerfully thrown head long into the swimming pool. Just when I was about to kill Jim for getting me into this, they added, “but it is unlikely you will be selected”.   “Selected”?  I asked, with a glimmer of hope.  They heard that there were probably a hundred or more people for whom this was their first crossing. Rumor had it that they would only pick about a half dozen for the “full” initiation process.  Jim was crushed. And yeah, I know this bunch; you were all really hoping my name was drawn! Nope, I lucked out again – as it was just about what I had envisioned. A show that I was appropriately thankful to just be observing!  I do wish Jim had been chosen however as it would have made for great pictures and years of fun story telling for him.  Just so you know (as I could sense your concern) we did get our certificates, appropriately signed by the Captain, officially “documenting” our crossing of the equator by sea.